Celestia and the Mysterious Red Button
by Elder Dragon Izanagi
Summary: Some nights can be exceptionally weird. Especially when a random box arrives in Princess Celestia's mail, with no return address. Inside, lies a shiny little red button. What's it for? What does it do?Who sent it? Where did it come from? Is it some supernatural world-destroying weapon, or a magical artifact that grants wishes? Who cares? Why don't you just press it and find out!
1. Part One: The Button

Luna had already raised the Moon and Celestia had lowered the Sun when the weird night had finally commenced. Oddly enough, it all started with a rather simple occurrence, receiving a strange package in one's mail.

"Your majesty! Princess Celestia!" A royal guard cried out as he and two of his comrades rushed into the throne room at full gallop. Princess Celestia, sitting regally on her throne, raised a concerned brow at the guardsponies.

"Yes, what is happening?"

Bowing curtly, the lead guard of the trio replied. "It's an urgent delivery your highness!"

Celestia shifted on her throne, stretching her wings and various muscles. Royal duty on a daily basis can be very stressful on the body, you see.

"From whom, my little pony?"

"Ugh...Umm. Well your majesty..." He sputtered as he rubbed his helmet with a hoof, embarrassed. "We're not entirely sure, who, sent it. We just found it laying at your mailbox outside the draw bridge!"

The Princess let out a royal sigh. "Which box? The one with the kittens painted on it, or the one with smiley-faced suns?"

"It was in the kitten one, my liege." The first guard replied.

Celestia pounded the edge of her throne with a hoof, gritting her teeth in anger. The sound echoed across the throne room. "Treason! I had ordered the other mailbox _specifically_ painted with the cheerful suns for all official mail! Suns are much cooler than kittens after all." Sighing again, the Sun Princess regained her normal, serene countenance.

"How do you know it's urgent then?'

The second guard chirped out a reply before his comrades could. "Your highness, the package is in a _red _box! Which means it _must_ be urgent!"

Sure enough, the armored pony produced a medium-sized cardboard box covered in red, eye-catching wrapping paper from his saddle bag. He now held it aloft in his hoof for Celestia to examine it. The box had the words: '**PRIORITY DELIVERY, HANDLE WITH CARE' **stamped into the side of the wrapping.

Narrowing her eyes, Celestia grasped the box in her magical aura, and held it 2 feet from her face, scrutinizing the object. Magically unwrapping it, the Princess took note of the contents. Inside, was a load of packaging peanuts, excessive amounts of everybody's favorite bubble wrap, and a single, shiny red button.

It was a small unassuming device with a silver bow tied to it. Before Celestia reached for the button, she looked up from it to the guards staring at her curiously. "Are you certain Twilight or Spike did not send this to me?"

The third guard shook his head. "We did not see anypony near the package when we spotted it. And as you can see, it has no label, your highness. As of right now, the sender is completely anonymous."

"Please summon my sister here then, please! This...device intrigues me, but I do not understand why it's here. Perhaps Luna can shed some light on its nature?"

Bowing, the guards complied. "Yes, your majesty. Right away!" The trio set off to fetch Luna. One of them tripped over the box as he went. A guard standing off to the side between two pillars face-hoofed. In the meantime, Celestia levitated the button out, examining it from every angle.

Princess Luna then strode into the room. "Tia, what is it you...OOOH!"

Letting out a squee of delight, Luna rushed to the box now lying on the floor, and stuck her muzzle inside. Pulling out several strands of bubble-wrap with her mouth, she put them on the floor and gleefully began to pop the little bubbles with her forehooves, giggling like a little filly.

"Luna, over here sister! It's the content of the package, not the wrapping I called you to see!" Celestia said impatiently, still holding the button in front of her. Glancing up from the bubble wrap, several pieces of the sticky packaging peanuts fell from Luna's face and mane. Pointing a hoof at the button, the younger Princess said, "Pray tell, what is that you are holding Tia?"

Celestia looked back at her sister with confusion. "I... Don't have a clue. Obviously some kind of button. I assumed it was something for you. Are you certain you did not order this off the internet somewhere?"

Luna shook her head. "I never order anything. I just find what I want and teleport it here, Tia. So much faster than slow old pegasi snail mail."

"Then, what could this possibly be?" Celestia put a hoof to her cheek, confounded that such a simplistic-looking object could be so... So esoteric. An idea popped into Luna's head as she glanced at the apparently empty box. She rushed over to it, and digging through the wrappings, the alicorn discovered a handwritten note. Looking back up to her sister, Luna grinned. "Tia, breakthrough! I've found a note."

Celestia continued to analyze the object. Even going so far as to prod at it with her hoof. Not looking away from the button, she replied in a deadpan voice.

"What...does... It say?"

Clearing her throat, Luna read the message out loud. "It says: 'Dear sir or madame. To whom it may concern: The button you now possess is a highly powerful, extremely dangerous device. You have been entrusted to keep this object safe for the entire night until dawn tomorrow. If anyone attempts to convince you to push the button on the device's top, please, **do not listen to them**. Its power has not yet been appropriately estimated, and the effects are completely unpredictable. For the safety of the universe at large, please keep the device under heavy guard, and whatever you do, do not listen to it if it tries to speak to you! Above all else, DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON!' Well isn't that... Odd."

Luna looked up quickly from the note, to the button, of which Celestia was now holding in her hoof. The older sister had an odd glazed-over look in her eyes, and with her tongue in her cheek, she was slowly lowering her other forehoof to the button. With a look of horror, Princess Luna charged at Celestia. "Tia, NO! Don't press it!"

"Shiny..." Celestia mumbled in reply.

Batting the button out of her sister's hand, Luna breathed a slight sigh of relief. Gasping loudly, with her violet eyes fully widened, Celestia stood as if snapping out of a trance.

"I, what in the name of harmony was that all about?! It's like, something was talking to me... Inside my mind!"

Luna laid a wing on her older sister's shoulder. "You're alright now, Tia. We need to grab that... that _thing_, and chuck it over the mountain side! I'm not trusting anypony to guard it if not even you are immune to its mental manipulation!" As the Princess of the Night spoke to the her sister, a guard nearby stared at the button a little too long. His eyes going blank, he began to shuffle towards it, dropping his spear with a loud clatter on the hard marble floor.

"Your highness! One of ours has fallen to the button's unholy sway!" Another guard cried out. Just as the two alicorns turned to see what was happening, the guard shouted. "So SHINY!" Before lunging at the object, and cleanly landing his armored hoof over the red button on top.

"NO!" Both Princesses shouted in unison.

They were too late, as the guard's hoof clamped down on the button. It made a loud 'beep' as it was pressed. Breaking free from the button's mental grip, the beleaguered guard on the floor shook his head fiercely. "Huh? Wha..." He stammered. One of his fellow guardsponies dragged him as far away from the supernatural device as the stallion could.

The button was now emitting an angry red glow, and shook vigorously across the floor. With a final violent jolt, it unleashed a large shockwave of energy which cascaded across the room.

Luna and Celestia grimaced and closed their eyes in worry as the wave passed over them. Guards closed their eyes and tried to protect their faces with their forelegs.

When the wave subsided and faded away into the air, a girly-sounding shriek echoed out across the throne room. It was quickly followed by several more. The Princesses opened their eyes, and were greeted by a horrifying sight. Their jaws dropped open as they took in the sight.

Half of the guards present in the room, had been turned into mares. Several kept looking at each other and screaming once again, in complete shock. Others ran around in circles, panicking. One of them managed to trip over the button, accidentally triggering it again.

This time, the button was still and calm as it released its magic. The device turned the chandeliers into hundreds of bits, which subsequently showered to the floor with loud jingles.

Discord appeared in a side doorway, naturally attracted by all the chaotic commotion. Everything only escalated from there.

"My oh my Celestia! What ever are you chaps doing in here, hmm?" The Draconequus peered at the now female guards curiously. "I see you're finally allowing the fairer gender into the Royal Guard."

The presumably reformed Spirit of Chaos let out a light chuckle. "Quite a bold move on your part, Tia. I hope some of Equestria's more... traditional Elite don't take objection to this. You know how destructive and chaotic those boring, tea-sipping aristocrats can be when they're fussy."

Luna scowled at him, as the guards continued to run around in panic. "Discord, go back into your room where you belong!"

Dejected, Discord folded his mismatched arms and pouted his lip. "But the TV doesn't get HBO or AMC, and I'm missing The Walking Dead and the final episodes of Breaking Bad! And the air conditioner keeps blowing out hot air!"

The Princess of the Night now stared at him incredulously. "Why don't you just call a repair pony... No, better yet, how about you go and use your _magic_ to fix it yourself! We have a situation on our hands draconequus!"

Discord scoffed. "Oh, fine. I'll go and take care of it all by my lonesome. It's not as if I wanted to chat with somepony tonight anyways."

While the two had their conversation, the panicking guards managed to trip over the device again, this time sending it tumbling over to Celestia's hooves. Before she knew it, the button once again had her in its sway.

Without hesitating, she activated it. Princess Celestia blinked twice, as the energy from the object washed over her.

**Celestia's Point of View**...

It was a dessert wonderland!

All around the Princess stood giant, exquisitely made cakes and pies. The pillars were replaced with giant candy canes. Vanilla-filled eclairs littered the floor. Towards where the entrance was supposed be, a giant oven now stood.

Creepy carnival music played in background.

With a loud, distorted dinging sound, the oven door popped open. Inside was a chocolate souffle. It's irresistible aroma curled seductively towards Celestia from afar.

The alicorn felt her mouth water with desire.

As she slowly made her way over, she stepped on one of the eclairs, and she looked down to inspect it hungrily. The eclairs then morphed into parasprites made of skittles. When Celestia pulled one of them towards her mouth with her telekinesis, the others started yelling at her in squeaky high-pitched voices.

"You're hallucinating, your highness!"

"Why are you eating that, Tia?!"

"_Somebody's_ got a weird appetite!"

Without hesitation, Celestia snatched the others up as well. They all quieted up in her mouth with a pleasing, fruity crunch. Just before she could swallow the candy, she was seized on the shoulders by a massive 4-tiered wedding cake. It's frosting arms seemed to leave stains on the Princess' brilliant white coat. The chewed up candy insects fell from her mouth to the floor as she gawked at it.

Out of nowhere a fork and knife, all cast in fine platinum, appeared in air, levitating towards Celestia. She snatched them up and attempted to cut a slice for herself.

On the top of the cake, the bride mare shouted at her. "SNAP OUT OF IT, MY SISTER!" Celestia struggled, attempting to break free of the talking cake's oddly firm grip. The cake than gave her a good shake, stopping the Princess in her tracks.

Discord, still in his usual bodily form, pranced around nearby in a tutu, performing Russian ballet. All at once, the music faded, the bizarre desserts vanished, and the real world took hold once more.

**Reality**?

Celestia broke out of her second button-induced trance, and looked at the world around her. At her hooves on the ground were packaging peanuts, covered in saliva with teeth marks on them.

The Princess suddenly felt a bitter taste in her mouth, realizing what the skittle parasprites actually were.

Discord was admiring the new chaos unfolding around him, and Luna was still grasping Celestia with her wings, her face etched with concern. In the distance, Philomena hooted in distress, somehow free of her cage. Apparently the button had been triggered a fourth time.

Luna however, kept Celestia from observing what the latest effects of the activation were. Gazing intently at her older sister, Luna shook Celestia again, getting her attention.

"Tia, the note has changed, it has a new message on it now! We have to find a way to get rid of this device before its effects start spreading to things outside the Castle!"


	2. Part Two: You Pressed It, Didn't You?

"Are you all right my sister? You still don't look so well... Perhaps we should get you to your bedchambers, and I'll deal with this dangerous button...device...thing..."

Luna's voice was slowly becoming sharper in Celestia's mind. As soon as the older Princess' eyes began to regain focus on the world around her, her mind became alert, as if a fog had been cleared in her consciousness. Seeing her sibling regain her faculties, Luna released her from her winged grip. "I... Perhaps... No. This button thing is going to require two alicorns to deal with. I don't trust our guards to be able to handle it, Luna. I mean, look at all the mishaps they've caused alrea..."

The Sun Princess' eyes widened as Luna moved out of the way, revealing the latest wave of chaos brought about by the mysterious button. "Oh you've got to be kidding me..." Celestia finished with her jaw dropping open.

Whereas the previous button activation had changed the gender of half the guards in the room to mares, everypony was now turned into pink, fire-breathing chickens.

Silver and gold armor, alongside spears, were strewn around abandoned on the floor, their original owners now strutting across and around them, cackling and squawking in a stupid way only chickens could. A few of the chickens were bigger than the others, and were so frightened, they were hiccuping green magical fire high into the air, much to Philomena's distress. The elegant scarlet and orange-plumed phoenix was somehow free of her cage.

"Who on earth released Philomena?!" Celestia inquired, to nopony in particular. Luna shrugged her forelegs helplessly. Celestia looked towards Luna, her gaze fierce and dangerous. "Did Discord free her in this chaos? Discord, GET OVER HERE!"

The furious alicorn scanned the throne-room-turned chicken coop for the Draconequus. Where he had originally stood, there was now only a random top hat and discarded gold-rimmed monocle. A pile of bits laid scattered around and beneath the gentlemanly attire.

"Tia, I suspect Discord is... currently not the Discord we know right now. Perhaps Philomena's cage was likewise turned to bits upon the second activation with our fine chandeliers." Celestia held a hoof to her chin. "Remind me to have new chandeliers installed after this, the old ones fashioned by those children at the Canterlot orphanage were tacky anyways."

Suddenly, Luna's eyes went all weird, and she stretched her wings out to her sides, taking to hovering in the air. _"Come little children, I'll take thee away..."_ She sang dreamily. _"Into a land, of enchantment..."_

Celestia was looking at the Princess of the Night as if she had just turned into a Changeling drone. Luna shook her head violently, snapping out of some weird state of mind.

"Lulu...?"

"Umm, oops."

She then recalled what her older sister had just said, some comment about chandeliers...

"_TIA!_ Now is not the time to be thinking about Castle decor! Focus my sister, _focus!_"

"Ugh... Right. I'm sorry, so many things on my mind." Princess Celestia cleared her throat. "I understand that you just told me the note's wording _changed_?"

The message from the Button's box floated up to sisters' view, carried through the air by Luna's telekinesis.

"Indeed. Behold."

_**YOU PRESSED, IT DIDN'T YOU**__?_

_To whom it may concern. You must be absolute dolts! It does not matter how shiny it is, you__** MUST NOT **__press it anymore times! You're lucky we're all still alive after all the previous activations. Consider this your one and final warning! Do not listen to its voices in your head, and do not, __**DO NOT**__, leave it to anyone else to guard. _

_P.S. Don't try throwing it out anywhere. It will __**always**__ find its way back._

Luna crinkled her muzzle in frustration. "Dammit!I was prepared to just toss it off the mountain, as mentioned before. What are we to do with it then, Tia?"

Issuing a loud sigh, Celestia shrugged at the situation as well, then looked back towards her Royal Guards, now reduced to panicking poultry_. _"Well, for starters..."

Celestia ignited her horn, and formed a new cage around her distressed pet. She then levitated the cage towards her, Luna, and the throne. Philomena gave a pleasant chirp of relief as she was reunited with her owner. The sun alicorn then stuck her muzzle through the cage bars. "Ahh... Did you miss mommy?"

The phoenix nuzzled her head against her owner's nose, before hooting in reply. "Yes, yes little one, I know sharing a room with Discord can be trying and quite frankly, disturbing. But, only you can keep spying on him for me while I sleep." Philomena reeled away in discomfort as her mistress' normally serene face adopted a rather suggestive smirk. Princess Luna rolled her eyes, familiar with that whole sordid affair.

Setting the cage down on her throne, Celestia then levitated the Button from the ground to the floor at their hooves. Luna cringed away from the powerful device almost instinctively.

The Sun Princess could already here the seductive voices echoing from the shiny button, straight into her brain.

_Shiny..._

_Cake..._

_Shiny..._

_Chocolate..._

_Shiny..._

"Just one bite..." Celestia murmured absently-mindedly. Luna stomped a hoof into the floor violently, jolting her sister out of her stupor. Celestia shook it all out, threw the button a look of pure loathing, and formed a magical shield bubble around the insidious little device.

"And now that Philomenaisback where she belongs, It's time to keep this thing under guard, as the note instructed the first time." Celestia said, finally responding to Luna's question moments ago.

This caused Luna to frown in concern as she regarded their poor guards, who were still running around as chickens.

"What about our guards? How will we get them back to their proper forms, only Discord alone has the power to reverse something as powerful as, as that thing..." She waved her hoof angrily at the Button. "And he's been turned into currency! The irony, Tia, the irony!"

Even more ironically, the shield Celestia just cast, collapsed when the Princess got distracted by one of the panicking Royal Chickens. In a dispersal of pink energy, the imploding force of the shield spell's collapse acted on the button.

Inevitably, the device was triggered once again tonight.

"TIA! NO, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!" Luna bellowed in the Royal Voice, fearing the possible destruction of the entire cringed, taken aback at the strength of Luna's Thu'um, I mean... uh, Royal voice, yeah that's it. Fortunately, Luna's fears were unfounded. Instead of the destruction of everything she knew, two pony-shaped figures began to warp into the room. At the same time, all the guards were restored to their proper states, gender included. The stallions breathed sighs of relief, as they moved to retrieve their lost armor and weapons.

Oddly enough for now, Discord remained a pile of money amidst Victorian-Aged nobleman's clothing.

Coming into focus, the warping shapes were revealed to be, of all unicorns, Twilight Sparkle. Standing before the Princesses now, was Twilight and..._Guylight_?

The first, resembled the normal Twilight, but looked ten years older, in her thirties. The second pony, was what could only be Twilight if she were a stallion. Both wore matching brown turn-of-the-century business suits with black ties. The male Twilight sparkle had a miniature blackboard around his neck that had a chart that read 'Heads' and 'Tails' with thirteen tally marks on the 'Heads' section, whilst the older female Twilight held a platter, bearing two silver coins, smaller than bits.

"What is this?" Luna inquired of the pair of lavender unicorns, completely dumbfounded. "Twilight? What are you...you two... doing here?" Celestia asked as well.

The Twilights smiled knowingly at the alicorn Princesses.

"You pressed the button didn't you?" Male Twilight asked.

"Of course, how couldn't they? It's so shiny!" Female Twilight added.

"Princess Celestia, tell you what..." Male Twilight began. "You take these coins, and flip them." Female Twi continued.

"Heads, something pleasant happens." Male Twi followed.

"Tails, something _completely_ random, _good or bad_ occurs." Female Twilight finished.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other uncertainly. "Go, ahead and try it. Your alternate doubles already have, and are about to do it anyways." The male Twilight declared.

"Alright." Celestia said simply, fixing her eyes on the silver coins with determination. She wrapped the first coin with her magic aura.

The Twilights beamed at the Princess of the Sun expectantly. "Heads? Or tails?" They said in simultaneously. Celestia flipped the coin with her telekinesis.

It landed on heads.

Upon the coin's 'ding' sound as it hit the surface of the platter the female Twilight was holding, the Button on the ground, activated itself. In a torrent of released energy, a mountain's worth of bubble wrap dropped down upon the Throne Room floor, burying the guards up to their chest in the fun packaging material. Luna, unable to control herself, squealed with delight, and dove into piles, her wings completely outstretched, propelling her along. Celestia face-hoofed at her younger sibling's antics. Sighing, she turned back to the Twilights, who were still smirking their clever, know it all smirk.

"Second go..." Male Twilight said with glee.

"What will it be?" Female Twilight inquired.

Celestia flipped the second coin with her magic. She watched with baited breath as the coin flipped through the air, in seemingly slow motion.

Outside, as the world progressed by supernaturally slowly, Pinkie Pie floated past a window at a considerably fast speed, waving and grinning at nopony in particular as she passed by, the balloons tied to her waist carrying her through the cool, night breeze to (and from) parts unknown. Back inside the Throne Room, the coin was nearly towards the surface of the bronze-colored platter held by one of the Twilights.

The Princess of the Sun had her eyes glued to the coin as it made its descent. She dared not blink, for fear of missing the result. Everything hanged on this. The possible fate of the world, of normalcy, of sanity, and proper decor and fashion sense, hung in the balance.

Finally, the coin made its mark with a ring as it settled on the tray.

It was tails.


	3. Part Three: World Warping

After what seemed like an eternity, time returned from its near stand still.

"T...Tails?" Celestia murmured, dread welling up in her gut. Nearby, still fully engrossed in the mountain of enticing bubble wrap, Luna paid no attention to the outcome of the coin toss. Still beaming at her, the Twilight Twins stared at the Princess of the Sun as she began looking around the throne room, expecting disaster at any second.

"Oh dear," Male Twilight declared.

"Looks as if its tails this time." Female Twilight concluded. "Let's see what becomes of this toss then, shall we?" Male Twilight added.

Predictably, the all powerful, ever dangerous red button powered up again, preparing to discharge its pent up magical energy throughout the room. Startled, Luna poked her head out of a pile of bubble wrap, a sheet of it dangling from her muzzle. Seeing the convulsing supernatural device, the dark alicorn's eyes widened. "Oh no. No, not again Tia! You didn't _have_ to take the second coin toss! It was my turn anyhow!"

Celestia met her sister's gaze with a stricken grimace. "But, who could resist a coin toss Luna? It's so enticing... fifty-fifty chances to win!" She then put her hoof to her chin, as the Luteces, ahem I mean Twilight Twins continued to beam at her with smug amusement.

"Remind me to convert the Royal Library into a casino when this is all over, will you Lulu?" Luna gave her a look that suggested she wanted to shout at her older sibling in the Royal Voice again, but fortunately for hearing lovers everywhere, she did not. Ear drums were left intact, at least for now.

"What, Luna? The Treasury could use the bits, and we all know our little ponies are notorious suckers for falling for silly schemes." Celestia chuckled elegantly. "Like the time when I sent out the Flim Flam brothers to shake up the Apple family's cider monopoly. Shame about that one, how it turned out though."

The younger sister was almost at her wit's end tonight. "Tia, you really need to _focus_ right now!" She pointed a hoof at the well-dressed pile of discarded bits near them that was originally Discord.

"Even our most powerful former opponent has been reduced to mere coinage by this foul button's power! The universe is in danger– we need to..." Luna was cut off by the growing disturbance.

Shaking violently and emitting a loud beeping noise, the button was nearly ready to release its next wave. Whatever this one change was, it was going to be a big one. The guards looked at each other fearfully, while the Princesses stared at the button on the floor wide-eyed.

Male Twilight cleared his voice, then let out a hardy chuckle. This briefly turned the alicorns' attention away from the charging device. "Well Princesses, it has been an honor making your acquaintances."

"We would stay longer, but we have business in realms elsewhere now." Female Twilight added with a serene smile.

"Do have a good night now, wont you?" Male Twilight said.

"I wish you the best of the luck with the button! Hopefully your world won't be turned to pure nonsensical chaos, _adieu_!" Female Twilight said in conclusion. With friendly waves, the Twins vanished through a blinding-white tear in reality.

"But... I...We... WAIT! What do you two know about the button?! How can we keep it under control?" Celestia urgently inquired in their wake.

"_We have no idea. We just saw an advertisement on the Internet submitted from somepony regarding the modification of the button's effects via coin toss. We didn't have much to do at the moment, and we love coin tosses. Good night to you, Celestia." _Female Twilight's now disembodied voice replied. At that, no trace of the Twilight Twins remained.

Simultaneously, both of the Sisters' ears fell flat, as the button's incessant beeping reached a crescendo. Slowly turning back to face it, the device finally unleashed itself. Celestia, Luna, Philomena, and the Royal Guards all collectively flinched as the energy wave passed over them.

At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the Throne Room save for the bubble wrap and bit piles. Then, everything went to Tartarus in a near instant.

"Mother of me..." Celestia whispered while her eyes widened at the new sights taking shape before her. Next to her, Luna similarly gazed at the scene with her mouth agape, her wide cyan eyes spelling out pure disbelief.

Their world as they knew it, was finally being fully warped

The entire atmosphere of the Throne room was becoming distorted and nonsensical, all reality now completely devoid of logic. Objects such as vases, tables, and even guard weapons and armor vanished or morphed into odd, non-objective shapes. All the world was quickly descending into something short of a Vincent Van Gogh painting, such was the sheer chaos.

With a yelp, one of the guards' bodies turned completely stark white. Magical letters hovered above him reading **warning: texture file 'royal_guard_7 dot troll ' not found**.

The stallion was not the only thing demonstrating this unexplainable break in reality. One of the throne room columns was replaced with a red exclamation point icon, and above it was a Windows 2000 style error screen reading **warning: scenery file 'architecture_canterlot_column_ 01 dot troll' invalid or corrupted.**

"What is this nonsense!" Luna exclaimed, as all the bubble wrap in the room was transformed into old Xbox 360s, each flashing red rings of death. The others were turned into old Sega Dreamcast consoles. "How insulting!" Luna was now quivering with rage. "Nopony ever found enjoyment in these infuriatingly defective models! Truly we _must_ be doomed then, if this is what the button now summons, my sister!"

In response, the bits piled around the floor turned into Xbox 360 copies of _Sonic Freeriders Kinect_, _Fable III_, and _Ride to Hell_.

The sight of the horrid games almost made Luna blow a gasket, which would certainly not be the first near-occurrence tonight. She pointed a hoof at the now largely inert button still lying innocently on the ground. "You are truly crossing a line, supernatural..._thing_. Whatever you are, with Celestia as my witness, you are going to meet a gruesome end before Tia raises the Sun in a few hours! You hear me, villain?"

Naturally, the inanimate object did not answer back. Instead, Discord was summarily turned back into his normal self, now wearing the top hat and monocle that had appeared when he supposedly dissolved into money. He smiled at the two.

"Celly, Lulu, you wouldn't believe the wonderful adventures I just got back from! Oh, the sights, the smells, the _chaos_!"

Discord rubbed his goatee with his eagle talon, grinning. His eyes were as a crazy looking as ever. "Houses tied to balloons traveling across entire continents, alien space wars, storms raining food, improper actors portraying and ruining beloved super heroes, celebrities dancing nude and looking like chickens... Oh and did I forget to mention _the CHAOS_?!" He pulled a strange object out of his hand.

"Care for a souvenir, my dear Luna?" He inquired. The object was a lemon-flavored muffin.

Luna, once again that night, could only stand their and gawk with her mouth agape. Behind Discord, several surfaces were covered in scrawling lines of numerical text, and multiple clones of a single Royal Guard trotted across walls and the ceiling, or floated-defying gravity while their normal guard comrades watched them and the other bizarre sights with abject horror.

Meanwhile, something was going on with Celestia once again. She was standing completely still, not looking at the button this time, but not staring at anything in particular either. Instead, the older Princess was seemingly staring off into space.

"Tia! You need to stop losing attention here, our people need us!" Luna shouted urgently, trying to arouse her sister back to reality from whatever odd fantasy world she had returned to.

"Apple boats ship ketchup bootleg chicken running dinosaur feathers." The white-coated alicorn muttered in response. Discord laughed at shear randomness, while Luna only frowned deeply. Celestia's normal, beautiful violet eyes had been replaced with static, like on an old television getting no reception. In the middle where her irises would be, a message read **'NO SIGNAL'**.

"Dubstep, dubstep, dubstep beats skrillex competition ten fold four score and seven years ago pegasus meat pie bomb." Celestia continued her nonsense ramblings. Discord clutched his gut as he rolled across the floor, laughing at humor only a draconequus such as himself could comprehend.

Getting up with a loud sigh of amusement, he snapped his fingers and a Direct TV antenna appeared on Tia's head. With a loud electronic 'bwrrrphhhh!' noise, the Sun Princess' eyes returned to normal.

"What the? Discord! What did you do?" Celestia exclaimed, shaking the antenna off her head. Discord flashed her a mock hurt look, staring at Celestia with puppy dog eyes.

"_I_ merely freed you from mindless oblivion, your very welcome. Now if you don't mind... I think the chaotic button is getting a little out of hand, even for my tastes..." The Draconequus pointed past the sisters to portals that were opening up near the entrance to the room. Loud dubstep music began to fill the room from unseen speakers, causing the poor guards to cover their ears with their hooves. Dropping their spears again, the weapons' clatter was lost in the resounding chorus of _'wub-wub-wub-wub'_ that resonated in everypony and everything in the room.

Right at the entrance, three portals opened up. It would seem this most recent activation had a much longer duration of effect, still shaping the world minutes after last being pressed.

The first of the portals admitted a horde of Discord clones wearing various gentlemanly and goofy pieces of attire, who all looked to each other and the original draconequus, waving and exchanging catchy pleasantries. The second let out a grey pegasus mare, who glared at everything in the room with a fierce facial expression and eyes that occasionally rolled around at odd angles.

"WHO TOOK MY MUFFIN!" Ditzy Doo roared, her eyes charging up like lasers...wait...lasers?

The third portal, was about to release a true abomination, a second horde of creatures. It was a large crowd of Eight and a half-feet tall alicorns with generic colors, weird wings, and overly-long horns. The first, a black and red coated stallion, stamped his hoof on the ground on their side of the portal.

"Equestria, fear not! Your mighty alicorn warrior has arrived to defeat your villains and save your world by instantly befriending everypony and defeating the enemy with one hit!" He declared boldy.

"No ponies, ignore that fool! For _I_ am this land's true savior! All will bow before me or I will leave your pathetic world to ruin!" An pure black-coated mare declared.

"My home dimension is soooo depressing and crappy..." A third alicorn whined.

"LUNA, DISCORD, ONE OF YOU SHUT THAT THIRD PORTAL NOW! THEY MUST NOT CONTAMINATE OUR REALITY!" Celestia roared, using her own Royal Voice for the first time in who knows how long. Combining their magic together, the draconequus and Luna swiftly imploded the portal before any of its contents could escape. Equestria was spared from one threat, but three others still remained.

Still resting in its place on the floor, the button radiated a false atmosphere of innocence and indifference. If anypony were to look at it too long, you would hear a voice say _'Why are you staring at me? I'm just a random button. Press me, or bugger off.'_

The other two threats also stood before the two alicorns, the draconequus, and the phoenix. Ever enraged, Derpy flared her nostrils, snorted, and ran her hooves threateningly across the marble floor, her laser eyes aglow. Nearby, the Discord copies wandered about, harassing the guardsponies, tripping over the video game debris, and laughing at the button-altered furniture and architecture.

Apparently that was not all. Outside the Castle, a horrendous soprano of screams issued out from the direction of the distant White Tail Woods. The trees were wailing in fright and uprooting themselves, running towards the East.

Celestia looked from Luna, then to reformed Discord, then back to Throne Room again. "Discord, Luna, I fear this is beginning to truly get out of hand." Dubstep music continued to play, now at a much reduced volume, the _'wub wub wub'_ emphasizing her words.

Rubbing his hands together, Discord chuckled slightly. "Indeedy! The effects of the button have finally left the Castle I see." Luna nodded vigorously. "Only we can stop this all, but we must stay focused, and not allow this little evil device to take control of our minds! No matter how shiny, we must RESIST the urge to PRESS IT!"


	4. Part Four: Welcome to My Office

"Can someone please round up these blasted Draconequii? Discord, get _yourselves _under control!" Princess Luna shouted over the persistent _wub-wub_ of the ambient dubstep.

By now all the Royal Guards could hear were the exquisite beats of hardcore dubstep as they stumbled around on their hind legs, trying to find things to stuff deep into their ear canals for relief.

The top-hat and monocle wearing Discords stood by laughing at the stallions' misfortune. A few sat on seats now made out of cheese and pretzels instead of wood, sipping tea, and watching the struggling guards, making remarks on the situation.

"Oh my!"

"How quaint."

_Wub wub, wub wub_

"Why Mister Discord, are they not the _epitome_ of unluckiness?"

"Umm yes, quite. Wouldn't you agree, Mister Discord."

"Yes, I would Mister Discord."

"I don't always drink tea to the entertaining sight of chaos, but when I do, I prefer camomile."

"Hmm hm hmm, quite so Mister Discord."

_Wub wub wub_

"Oh, you gents are _so_ uncreative. Why not _watch_ tea and _drink_ some chaos instead?!"

"Mister Discord, you are a genius my old chap!"

None of the Draconequii seemed the least bit fazed by the grey pegasus now galloping about, roaring and setting fire to numerous objects as she chased after the original Discord. He still had the lemon muffin in his hand.

"Give me MUFFIN!" Ditzy Doo roared. Discord chuckled, teleporting back and forth and effortlessly dodging her laser attacks.

"Discord, cease this muffin business at once and deal with your doppelgangers!" Luna ordered again.

The Draconequus chuckled amusement and instead jogged out of the main entrance of the throne room, with a rampaging Derpy following closely behind like some kind of one-mare stampede, a stampede with laser eyes.

"Sister, we must secure the button at once. Another activation of this magnitude could be _catastrophic!" _Half a forest did just uproot itself and run for the hills after all, what could possibly be next?

To her surprise, Celestia paid no attention to Luna. Her eyes had glazed over again as she stared at the button on the ground. "Tia! Sister...what are you...? OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Luna exclaimed. "Cake..." Was all that the sun princess muttered back. Before Luna could raise a hoof to stop her, Celestia had already reached the button, her own hoof hanging only inches above the shiny red surface.

Determined to prevent a possible apocalypse in the making, Luna tackled the slightly larger alicorn. "How many times must I say it Tia? You have to focus, or this button will destroy all!" Celestia glared up at her from the ground.

"Cake? _Cake!_" The Princess broke out of Luna's grip and pressed the button. "NO!" Luna shouted, grimacing and expecting the worst.

The button didn't do anything.

"C...Cake?" Celestia asked sadly, looking around as if confused. Luna took the opportunity to snatch the device up, where it was safe from her sister's hypnotized grasp.

"You will give me my cake, or I will banish you!" Princess Celestia roared in almost demonic sounding voice, her eyes now alight. Using her wings, Celestia propelled towards her sister rapidly and snatched the button back, wasting no time in pressing the device multiple times, yelling out 'cake' with each strike of her hoof.

Luna rushed forward, desperate to stop her, but the button would not allow that to happen. It left the Night Princess stuck in a time loop. "Stop, don't press it!" Luna was almost upon her sister, galloping, she reached out a hoof too..

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare press it!" Luna was almost upon her sister, and using her horn to teleport herself just in time, she reached out a hoof to...

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare press it!" Luna was almost upon...

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare..."

(Pressed several times in succession)

"Stop..."

Celestia pressed the button one final time in an effort to receive her fictional chocolate and fudge pound cake that infuriatingly never materialized. Instead, something far more unpredictable happened. Luna suddenly found herself free of the time loop. However, everything had disappeared, literally.

Luna turned her head frantically, trying to come to terms with what her eyes were showing her.

Everything was blank white, and the button was nowhere to be found.

It was almost as if they were on the inside of a massive white box. The 'floor' was snow white. The 'walls', snow white. Can you guess the color of the 'ceiling'? Eeyup, as white as fresh snow.

But the white surfaces weren't the only features of note here. Celestia regained her normal behavior, and looked around with confusion. "Where in my name are we, Luna?"

"I...don't know, my sister. Wherever 'here' is, it's definitely not the Castle, or even Equestria." Luna replied, dumbfounded.

"Welcome to my office, your majesties." A rich, deeply appealing voice greeted them from somewhere behind. Turning around, the regal sisters noticed for the first time a middle-aged stallion with a salt and pepper beard, stubble, and mane, wise brown eyes, and a shiny silver earing on his right ear.

He wore an all-white suit and tie over his tan-colored coat, and smiled at them knowingly. "The Princesses turned to regard the well dressed stranger, unsure if what they were seeing was indeed reality. Finally regaining her voice from the firm grasp of surprise, Luna finally spoke to him." The stallion said, randomly narrating.

"You're...you're Morgan Freeman, aren't you." Luna proclaimed, her voice filled with astonishment. Morgan Freeman grinned kindly, and chuckled. His laugh sounded like one of Fluttershy's lullabies mixed with the calls of a songbird.

"Guilty as charged, Princess Luna." Morgan Freeman replied. "But how, what?" Celestia sputtered, not regaining her composure as quickly as her sister had.

Morgan Freeman held up a hoof, and approached them, going around Morgan Freeman's desk. The mahogany desk was massive and ornate, but its splendor was nothing compared to the eloquence of its owner's divine golden voice. The desks' sole contents on its surface were a few books, a pocket watch, a computer tablet, and a key to a small, rather unassuming filing cabinet behind Morgan Freeman.

"I take you're here because you pressed the button, didn't you?" Morgan Freeman inquired. The worried looks in their eyes answered Morgan Freeman's question for them.

Morgan Freeman chuckled at them again. "Don't worry, I'm sure nothing too bad could have come out of it. Most artifacts like the button's kind tend to just have their fun, run their course than find new worlds to cause mischief in. Its simply their nature."

"You seem to know an awful lot about this button. Pray tell, are you perchance the one who sent it to us?" Luna asked with a thick note of suspicion in her voice.

Morgan Freeman's grin downgraded to a humble smile. Nevertheless, it was still graceful enough to turn something like sour milk into finely aged world-renowned wine. "I'm afraid not, your majesty. You see, I merely narrate the events of history, not make them."

"I see." Luna replied, nodding. "Such a magnificent voice is likely what keeps our universes from completely tearing asunder, is that not accurate?" Morgan Freeman didn't reply, and simply winked at her.

"But still, why are we here, Mr. Freeman?" Celestia inquired. Morgan Freeman went back behind Morgan Freeman's desk and sat down, clasping his hooves together. "To be straightforward, there is someone who would like to have an audience with you, your majesties."

"Who might this mysterious individual be then? Please tell me its not Sombra, Nightmare, or...ugh..._her!_" Celestia flashed her tongue in a foalish show of disgust, causing her crown to tilt to a comical position atop her regal head.

Morgan Freeman waved his hoof towards the filing cabinet. That's when Pinkie Pie suddenly started bouncing around from behind the cabinet and towards Celestia and Luna. "Hiya, your majesties!" She greeted them sweetly. "Lovely night we're having, huh?"

"Cease your insolence at once, citizen! This chaotic quagmire of a night is not deserving of such amicable descriptions!" Luna barked, taken aback at the party pony's jubilancy.

Celestia sighed and fixed her magenta eyes on Pinkie Pie, following her as she bounced up and down. "Now, now Luna. This pony is almost always in good spirits. Now, what is it that you wished to discuss with us, Madame Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, nothing." Pinkie replied simply. Both sister's ears fell flat, and Luna nearly face-hoofed. "Somepony had left a note under my pillow that told me to warn you not to press the button again, or that things would only escalate...something like that." Pinkie Pie shrugged indifferently and continued to bounce, with a grin on her face that any grandmother would instantly want to pinch affectionately.

"You're kidding, right?" Celestia inquired in a deadpan voice. "We end up teleporting to one of Morgan Freeman's home dimensions while our kingdom is at risk, only to be told essentially the same message we've already _received?!_" She face hoofed. "I think I'm going to shut down the government and sleep in for a week or two once this night is all over."

"Who left you this note, Pinkie Pie?" Luna asked urgently. "Did you see them?"

Pinkie Pie put a hoof thoughtfully to her muzzle. "Hmm, now that I think about it, I did see the silly silhouette of a unicorn slip through my door while I was counting sheep. But I have no idea who it was. I'm sure they just left it as a silly confusing prank or something, it's what I would do." She finished with a chuckle.

"A unicorn you say? Hmm. That leaves me with some potential candidates for starting this button debacle."

"Oooh! I KNOW! Maybe it was one of _those_ people!" Pinkie Pie suddenly turned towards a random direction and waved into space cheerfully.

"Who are you looking at, Morgan Freeman inquired of Pinkie Pie." Morgan Freeman said, narrating.

"Why the audience, silly! They're supposed to know everything, right?" Luna face-hoofed, sighing deeply. "Pinkie Pie, there is no audience. What does this seem like to you? Some kind of sitcom huh? A _cartoon?_ This is serious business, Equestria may be at great risk!"

"Umm, no I suppose not. Sorry." Pinkie's mane partially deflated, making it flat instead of curly and frizzy.

"Please, that is enough you two!" Celestia cleared her throat for an extended period of time. "Will that be all, Mister Morgan Freeman?" She asked with waning curiosity.

"I'm afraid that's all, your majesty." Morgan Freeman replied, taking a sip of water from a glass next to him. It turned into a cup of pomegranate mineral water, and then refilled itself as Morgan Freeman set it down on a golden coaster atop Morgan Freeman's desk.

"Where is the exit then?" Luna asked. "It's right behind you, your highness." Morgan Freeman responded, waving towards something.

The alicorns turned around, and beheld the floating entrance to an old-fashioned looking 1920's elevator with a glowing 'exit' sign above the gilded doors. "Ah, alright then. Let us hasten back my sister! Who knows what may have happened in our brief absence, Tia!"

Pinkie Pie quickly bounced after Luna as she entered the elevator car. "Don't forget me!"

"Of course you two, just give me a sec." Celestia turned towards Morgan Freeman one final time. "Thank you mister Freeman for shedding some light on the true nature of this evil red button. You may have done Equestria a great service this night!"

Morgan Freeman nodded his head at her, beaming. "Oh, I hardly did anything your highness. Feel free to pay me a visit from time to time, I'm sure you are a great conversationalist." Celestia nodded to the stallion gracefully, then joined Luna and Pinkie Pie in the elevator. Just as the doors began to slide shut, Morgan Freeman waved jovially at them and called out.

"Send Fluttershy my best, won't you your majesty?"

"Oh, umm of course Mister Freeman, I'll do that." Celestia said hurriedly as the doors closed.

"The elevator then vanished from Morgan Freeman's sight with a wink of bright white light, taking the three back to the land of Equestria. Morgan Freeman pony was sad to see his royal guests go, but knew that they have duties to keep. There was still Grand Theft Auto Five left to play, after all." He said, Morgan Freeman's tablet now instantly turning into a PlayStation 3.

"Trevor is no ordinary psychotic Redneck, as you can see here from the way he is mysteriously laying in his underwear on the train tracks when you switch to his character. Los Santos was in for yet another day of heavy destruction, drunk driving, and coarse language." Morgan Freeman narrated as he played the game.


End file.
